I fell apart yesterday. Something collapsed like a tile of dominoes, falling down a trail of reactions, one after another. Before that single moment everything was fine, but all of a sudden it began to grow and expand into something too thick to see through. I fell apart in suffering, a cruel spirit that I channel whenever I choose to give into it. And with a mind of bricks smashing down on top of soft feathers, I searched for answers to the problems compounding, pounding, pounding. The mortar of raw emotion makes a nice seat for each block to settle into. Every layer I built up only created a wall that I couldn’t see beyond.
There I was, laying in my bed, hands around my head, lost in a blank stare of frustration. What could I do to overcome from this seemingly hopeless point of no return? Looking into this abundance of unknown that surrounds me, I rested into a quiet place within, a place of surrender. And I began to send out a prayer, asking for your guidance and strength to let go of the things that no longer give light to a greater purpose.
Waking up the next morning my mind was as fresh as the new day, but hope was still matted and wrinkled with a scent of the weight that lingered before. I asked you what I should do, but didn’t see any answers waiting for me. I asked you for a sign, but in place of brick and mortar, my mind was left empty. Once occupied, this space now blooms in clarity. And if only for a short while, these feathers of hope are coming alive. Lifting up into the wind, they are finding their way in whatever possibilities may arise.
~ jeffrey vionito
Picture by: http://www.flickr.com/photos/bnm12/6253711484/